For 40 years, Moses has kept his promise to Jennifer, standing by her side even as she lives with dementia.
Moses Lim gently placed his hand on his wife Jennifer’s lap, his eyes glistening with tears. Leaning in close, he whispered, “I will be with you till the end of time, even if you might not know.”
The couple met at work in 1977, where their friendship blossomed into love. In 1984, they vowed to stand by each other through life’s joys and trials.
“She was a simple girl, always attentive in conversation and comforting to be around. Over time, things just fell into place,” Moses recalled.
Forty years later, he remains true to that promise.
Jennifer, now 69, lives with late-stage dementia, a degenerative brain condition. She can no longer respond, converse, or move, and she barely opens her eyes.
Moses has been her main caregiver since her diagnosis in 2014, even leaving his job to care for her full-time. Looking back, he wonders if the signs had appeared earlier—particularly in 2011, when Jennifer lost her job due to underperformance, despite a recent promotion. “In hindsight, that might have been an early sign of dementia” he shared.
He looks back on the early stages of her condition, when she placed shoes on the table or rugs on the dining surface. Those difficult moments, which happened during their wedding anniversary, are now bittersweet memories.
In February 2022, Jennifer fell and fractured her hip, and she was referred to St Luke’s Hospital (SLH) for rehabilitation.
“SLH supported us through everything, from hiring a helper to arranging a hospital bed at home. I don’t know what we did to deserve all this support,” Moses said.
When Jennifer was discharged, the Community Intervention Team (COMIT) ensured she could remain in the community while supporting Moses in his caregiving journey. Moses also joined the dementia caregiver support group to better understand the condition.
Today, he continues bringing Jennifer to St Luke’s Community Clinic, where her follow-up care is now integrated and consolidated. “Every time we go for appointments with Dr Cleo Chiong and the team, it feels like home.”
With guidance from Shah, an Advance Care Planning Facilitator, Moses finally began the process of Jennifer’s Advance Care Plan (ACP) and Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA) in November 2024—something he hesitated for nearly two years. This stemmed not just from the difficulty of making decisions on paper, but from his deep love and consideration for his wife. He has since done his LPA and is considering ACP in the future.
That same month, Moses joined SLCC’s Care & Counselling service, recognising the importance of self-care. “From a holistic care perspective, SLH doesn’t just care for the patient—they care for the caregiver too. The team at SLH helps me step back, express my thoughts, and find solutions.”
Though Moses feels overwhelmed at times, he never wavers. “Jennifer cared for me when I was ill in 2008. Now, it’s my turn to fulfil that duty and promise.”
